So…let’s talk about mommy guilt.
We’ve all seen it.
We’ve all heard it’s whispers.
We’ve all felt its stinging pain.
This week it’s trying to ruin my life and I’m about to throat punch it. For real. Why? Why? Why? It reared its ugly head after a visit to a friend’s house. A new friend. A friend I want to get to know. I walked into her dream home, aka my dream home, and almost gasped. Girlfriend has 5 kids…yeah, guys and gals…FIVE! Her house was immaculate! Beautiful, stain-free furniture. Perfectly decorated walls. Soft and clean carpet. Free standing shelves full of perfectly organized kid’s books. Strategically placed coloring books and every array of art supply you could think of beside the dining room table. I say strategically placed because as dinner time arrived all five of her children gathered quietly around the table and grabbed a coloring book or crayons, if they so desired, to color quietly before dinner was served. This was going on as my one year old screamed her head off, demanding her food, until it was sitting right in front of her and my two-year old stood on his chair talking loudly to whomever would listen.
Guys…this was only the beginning. The bathrooms were white and spotless, the kitchen cabinets were white and I’m pretty sure they were glistening, the basement was finished beautifully and topped off with an amazing play room full of built-in shelving, a mounted flat screen and every cool and trendy toy ever known to man.
I haven’t ever felt like I needed to keep up with the latest and greatest so this feeling of impending jealousy and covetousness was quite depressing. I rode home relatively silent and when I got home instead of starting the changes I was dreaming of I laid on the couch and fell asleep to Netflix. Seriously. Mom of the year. I was so overwhelmed and sad but mostly I was feeling guilty.
I didn’t have built-in shelves.
I didn’t have perfectly organized book shelves.
I didn’t have a gorgeous play room.
I didn’t have strategically placed coloring books and crayons.
I didn’t have posters of the alphabet and shapes up on the walls.
I didn’t have children that sat quietly waiting for dinner.
I didn’t have a clean and spotless house.
I just didn’t.
I felt like I was lacking because of all of these things; that my mommy status had officially been lowered because of color coordinated bins. I was thinking of all that I didn’t have and every area that I had officially become a failure in.
Not patient enough.
Not nice enough.
Not quiet enough.
Not firm enough.
Not healthy enough.
Not pretty enough.
My revelation came as I was driving my babies home from our playtime at the park. I had the radio on and ‘Bad Blood’ by Taylor Swift came on the radio. I turned that crap up, sang and danced like a 16-year-old girl. I laughed at myself and how absolutely ridiculous I was being. My mommy status had nothing to do with bins, shelves and posters. My mommy status had nothing to do with McDonald’s, prettiness or how often I raise my voice. I am a mama and a darn good one, might I add. I love my babies with a fierceness that is hard to find these days. This guilt that consumes is unnecessary and definitely unwanted! Ain’t nobody got time for mommy guilt. Especially this mama…
I found this meme this week and I must share it because after realizing how completely ridiculous I was being this made me laugh hysterically. Mommy Guilt Bingo. How many of us can relate?! A few of my favorites…
Used TV as a babysitter
Incomplete baby book
Didn’t read to them today
Hiding in the bathroom
Keep the guilt at bay, mamas. Love those babies. And hide in the bathroom when necessary.