Tears On My Stearing Wheel

I’m 100% sure I met some angels today.
They had gray hair, kind eyes, slumped shoulders, they were holding hands, and bundled up ready to leave Target.
I didn’t know it, but they had been around the store with me, going through the same isles, seeing my morning unfold,  hearing my toddler’s screams, and I’m sure feeling the tension that was in the air, as I was trying to keep my calm.
I don’t even know what set BK#1 off.
She was being good and then all of a sudden she was screaming, shouting and pointing at something. I have no idea what, but she for sure was not getting it now. She never acts like this in public! I was trying to reason with her, trying to figure out what she wanted so we could talk about it, distracting her with talk of lunch and then seeing her Aunt later. NOTHING worked!
By the time I got to the check out {Normally if she acts out and it can’t be corrected we leave. I refuse to be embarrassed, reward her with an audience, and people trying to calm her, but I needed toilet paper and laundry detergent} she was full on loosing it. She took her shoe off and threw it at me. I caught it, placed it in the cart, leaned in close to her and said “If you do not stop right this second you are going to stand in the corner, in this store, in front of everyone”. She calmed to a small whimper, but still acting out. THEN the cashier asked HER if she she wanted a sticker! Ughhh mmm thanks for trying to help lady, but in our home stickers are rewards, and she is most definitely not getting one right now!
I replied kindly, because she really was just trying to help, “I really appreciate it, but no thank you. She has been yelling and not acting nice and made mommy very sad, so no sticker.”
BK#1 lost it!
“Mommy sad??” There was no more screaming and yelling, and inaudible sentences, but weeping. Big, sad, ugly, heartbreaking tears.
I quickly paid and hurried towards the door.
Back to the angels.
I was getting her coat on her, covering up BK#2’s head (he was sleeping on my chest in the Tula), and Mrs. Angel touched my arm and said “You are doing the right thing, and you are an amazing mother, may we help you?”
I was hesitant, but I told them “Thank  you, and absolutely you can help!”
Mrs. Angel grabbed BK#1’s hat and put it on her and grabbed the TP. Mr. Angel  grabbed the laundry detergent and the bags, and told me “pick up your baby and tell us where your car is.
My mind is programmed to be scared of someone following me to my car, but in this instance there was no fear, I was greatful beyond words.
We made it out to the car, I opened the back and they placed my items in, Mr smiled and grabbed Mrs’ hand, and she looked at me with the kindest eyes I have seen in a very long time and said “Keep doing what you are doing, you wont regret it, thank you for letting us help you. Have a good day!”

And off they went.

I wont ever see them again.

I got in my car and drove away, crying, (if you haven’t figured out from my other posts, but I am an emotional person, obviously) and listening to the soft cries behind me.

Raising a tiny human is really hard!

But, in these days being a good person is too! I am in shock and awe of the kindness that I was shown today. I was raised to serve people. I was raised to do nice things for people who don’t deserve it. I was raised to do the good thing, even when no one else is!

We are surrounded by horrible bad things. We are programmed not to let anyone near us, not to let anyone help us. Its the world that we live in. We are just trying to get by and keep our LO’s safe.

I know all of that. I am well to aware of the bad things going on in our small towns. I know that those strangers could have very well stolen my groceries at least, followed me home, taken my child, etc. ….the horrifying list of things that happens in our world all could have happened. 

I choose not to live in fear.

I choose to serve, and let others serve me.

How am I supposed to raise wonderful, kind- hearted children if I never look for the good?

I encourage you to stay strong while you are disciplining your children.

I hope you find the calm and peaceful words that diffuse a situation.

Most of all, I encourage you to look for the Angels in your life.

Is it an old couple missing their grandkids? Is it in laws trying to be better grandparents? Is it parents LEARNING to be grandparents and letting you be the parent? Is it your husband bringing you coffee in the morning? Is it your wife folding all your laundry and putting it away so you don’t have to?

Look for the Angels, and importantly – actively and purposefully be an angel to someone else!

~Amanda