#StopTheMommyWars

You might have noticed that I have been a little MIA from blogging lately. I’m Sorry! Nope, slash that. I really am not. I have been doing a lot of self-care lately, and frankly I am tired of feeling like I need to apologize for it.

Tired of feeling the need to apologize for not getting to the laundry, because I spent the entire day literally reading to my babies, and snuggling.

Sick of wondering what other people think of my attitude.3f4ffe4ac23adcc5f25a322df290998d

Exhausted with answering my phone in a timely manner.

Tired of wondering if my husband sees me as Lazy.  (I know he doesn’t)

Worn-out from making my house “presentable”.

Drained from working 20+ hours a day. {Please children, can we just all agree that sleeping 8 hours straight is a good idea for all parties?}

Nauseated over the amount of time I stare at my budget, instead of just enjoying my babies playing on the floor next to me.

Done being judged over how many cups (pots) of coffee I had for breakfast.

Enough of figuring out how to get rid of my “mommy belly”.

I am through trying to make myself feel “equal” to those moms who work outside of the home.

I am through comparing salaries and budgets.

I am through wondering if I am appreciated, or if I am doing something wrong.

I am through questioning my self- worth!

 

No one has made me do this. I do it to myself.

We as moms see social media, TV, magazines, other moms in target, other moms in the doctor’s office, and sadly start judging or comparing.

You know you do it.

I might not want to, but I do it. I wonder if working would make me happier. If dropping my kids off for a few hours a day would make me feel better? Make bills easier? Be better for them?

What if I bottle feed instead of breastfeed? Will my son be more independent? Will I get more sleep?

What if I stop caving when my toddler resists potty training? Does that make me lazy when I do?

What if I set an alarm every morning and worked out, instead of working out around the babies? But then I wouldn’t get as much sleep? That mom just posted about how she has a 6 pack, and left the gym just in time to see her babies after DH got them out of bed??? How tired is she at 8pm?

What if I make a cleaning chart, and have everything cleaner, will less clutter help my stress? Maybe?

Here is what I have realized….

ac74fe1730b44eff8c2c1b4da0247f36The truth is the laundry is just fine where it is.

My attitude (obviously pretty carefree lately) is no none else’s business: if they have a problem with it, then that is their problem.

If I don’t text back or call back chances are I am doing something more important, and if you really want to talk to me you know where I live, or I’ll get back to you when I can/want to.

My husband doesn’t see me as lazy! He tells me often how “amazing” I am, how he “couldn’t do what I do”, and often says “please just sit down for 5 min” <<<< Where do I get off thinking otherwise?? Why would I put an attitude or frustrating thoughts where it obviously does not exist! He appreciated me, and it’s MY problem if I don’t accept it.

My home is a play center, a day care, a craft room, a pet groomer, a jungle gym, a school, and most importantly where my children reside every day all day. I owe no one spic and span and a spotless room. I mean really….if it’s always clean then what are my kids doing? Staring at the TV? A wall? Watching me clean? Yeah, that’s tons of fun. So, if some dog hair sometimes, dust here and there, toys everywhere you try and walk offends you….find a new friend!

My DH work nights, and I have a 9mo old and a 2 year old…..I am going to look like the walking dead for the next few years, its time I accept that fact.

My DH works so very hard at his job. My job is to make sure bills are paid and that I am raising healthy happy children. Adding stress to myself by budgeting and re -budging every day is just silly!

The mommy belly is going to take time to get back to normal, and it probably never will completely go back to a flat tummy! I’ve accepted that, and it is what it is. I need to check myself before my daughter starts to have a bad body image influence.

Most importantly……Being a stay at home mom is pretty awesome and to stop comparing myself! I am awesome, because I stay at home and raise those babies! I spend every single waking moment with them. Here is the kicker…..Working moms are awesome too! They have the strength to trust their tiny human with someone else! All day, and almost every day. I just don’t. The few months that I worked when BK#1 was a baby was pure torture! I ached for my child. My “dream job” has always been a SAHM…..I have been blessed enough to do it. I need to stop comparing my life and capabilities to other moms, and just enjoy my life!

Why the rant? Why am I saying all of this?

Because the “Mommy wars” start with us! It starts with how we view ourselves!

It starts with our own happiness! Be happy with your life, no matter how hard, or what you have in front of you. Life is not always easy, but you have tiny little humans that NEED to see a happy mom! It’s okay to fake it sometimes, but I found that I needed to dig down deep and find myself in the middle of this crazy thing called mommy-hood, and CHOOSE to be happy and CHOOSE love myself!

I encourage you to stop apologizing. Stop excusing  yourself from the table because of a crying baby. Let the laundry sit, and go outside and play. Read a book instead of checking email. Turn your phone off after 8pm. Spend some time on yourself, and become a better self!

~Amanda

#stopthemommywars <<<< search it on social media. If you are having a bad day, I promise it will help!

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